


The Garden of Titans

by Bornon413



Category: Kotonoha no Niwa | Garden of Words, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Cross Over, Crossover, M/M, Rain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-17
Updated: 2014-01-24
Packaged: 2018-01-01 21:18:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 13
Words: 8,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1048676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bornon413/pseuds/Bornon413
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A boy and a man resolve to meet only on rainy mornings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. June, Eren (Part 1)

**Author's Note:**

> This sounds even better with a nature simulator: http://naturesoundsfor.me/The-Garden-Day-1  
> Adjust as per needed if you like.

I stared up at the grey sky from beneath my clear umbrella, partially paying attention to the organic patterns the raindrops traced across the plastic.

When I was little the sky seemed so far away, and I guess in a way it still was. I blinked and my eyes rode the curve of a large drop that slithered down to the bottom of my umbrella and disappeared into the subway station concrete at my feet. I guess that’s why I always liked the rain. It made the sky seem so much closer. Because the rain brought with it the smell of the sky.

The train pulled into the station with a gentle squeal and I piled in with the rest of the common folk. Before this school year I had never really known the damp feeling of a stranger’s umbrella saturating the hem of my uniform. I had never really known the slightly claustrophobic feeling of multiple bodies packed into a train, nor the slightly numb feeling of my hand holding onto the grip above my head.

The train began to pull to a stop and I paused for a moment as people brushed past me to get of onto the platform. On pure instinct, I joined them. I pushed through the rain-dampened crowd and jogged out onto the rainy street. I recognized this area and began to walk towards the nearby park as I pushed open my umbrella. Everyone else walked past me, towards the station. I felt like I was walking against the rising morning tide.

As I came to the entrance I tucked a coin into the slot for the gates and they opened. I walked slowly in, feeling the water that had puddled up on the concrete soak lightly into my moccasins. I sighed to myself and noted that I would have to re-seal them with rubber or beeswax. I trotted across a wooden bridge that stretched out across a small portion of the lake. I paused for a moment and closed my eyes, allowing the sound and smell of the rain to permeate my very being. I opened my eyes and began walking again. I meandered down the wooden path until it became sand and gravel. I was surrounded by the rain and the trees and the water of the lake and felt a strong sense of calm wash over me. Everything else besides this moment in my life seemed so far away, but not in a bad way.

I absently glanced towards the gazebo that I had planned to sit at, only to discover that someone had beaten me to it. A small man sat with one leg crossed over the other, the top button of his shirt was undone, his tie incredibly loose, and he was wearing slacks and slightly polished dress shoes. He had an arm tossed carelessly over the back of the bench; his other hand grasped the top of a can of beer delicately.

His eyes flicked over to watch me as approached the covered platform.

“Hello,” I said with a tentative wave of my left hand. “Is it alright if I sit with you?”

The man was silent for a minute. His nursed the can before replying, “Do what you want; I don’t care.” I noticed the back of his head was shaved.

I gave a small and polite bow before I sat down. I dropped my bag onto the farthest point away from him on the L-shaped bench. I immediately fished out my journal, a pencil, and an eraser from it and began to draw.

We sat in silence, although it was a little awkward at first, I eventually began to tune into the sound of the rain and the song of a small nearby brook as I sketched out shoe designs.

After a moment, I glanced up at him again. I noticed that there was also a small pile of chocolate bars next to his thigh. He stared out absently at the water, ignoring me just as I had him.

I resumed sketching and began to think to myself.  Chocolate and beer was perhaps the most bizarre combination of things anyone could bring to a park.  Not to mention he was dressed in work clothes. Maybe he was ditching like me. Something about him struck a familiar chord with me.

I began to erase a portion of the heel of a shoe and my eraser leapt out of my hands and onto the ground. He reached out and grabbed it before I even had a chance to react.

“I’m sorry.” I said as he tossed it back to me.

He shrugged absently and proceeded to stare out at the water again. Thunder rumbled high in the sky. He took a sip of beer and held the liquid in his mouth a moment, closing his eyes as he did so, and then swallowed. He paused for a moment and then I felt his eyes on my school uniform. I heard the small click of a partially empty beer can hitting wood. 

“Maybe it’s fitting.” He murmured as he stood up, taking the beer and chocolate bars in his hands. I looked up at him, confusion lighting in my eyes.

He stared out at the rest of the park.

 _“'A faint clap of thunder,_  
Clouded skies,  
Perhaps rain comes,  
If so will you stay here with me?’”

He grabbed and opened a red umbrella and began to walk the opposite way that I had come in, leaving me to scribble down a poem and with more questions than answers.


	2. June, Eren, (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some ambiance noises: http://naturesoundsfor.me/Erens_Apartment

I stood in the kitchen, unsure of what to think about what happened today as I sliced up vegetables to cook for dinner. I tossed some noodles into a pot as the water came to a boil. The sound of the front door unlocking resonated through our apartment, matching tune with the weather broadcast on the radio, and I was greeted by the voice of my foster sister, Mikasa.

“Hello.” She said as she walked into the dining room that was adjoined to the kitchen. She dropped a plastic bag onto the table and it crinkled as it landed. Her voice was quiet, calm, and composed, as always. “Dinner smells good. I brought croquettes.”

“Thanks,” I muttered to the stew pot and I dropped in some spices to add some flavor to the broth. “Where’s Dad?”

“Out.” She said dryly.

I sighed as I thought about a previous night this week. ‘Fine’ he had said in an irate voice, ‘I’ll just work through the next week’. He had then proceeded to chug the rest of a can of beer and marched out of the apartment. I rolled my eyes. He was so childish sometimes, but at least he paid the bills on time and sent money to buy groceries when he was out.

She returned to the room once I had finished cooking dinner, although she wore shorts, a thin and worn scarf, and a tank top, rather than her work clothes. I placed a bowl of noodles in front of her and she leaned back in her chair to fish a can of soda out of the fridge behind her. She set it down on the table with a thud and we began to eat.

“Jean and I are thinking of moving in together.” She said absently.

I nodded, “I figured.”

She ate a tomato before continuing, “Would you mind helping me move in? It won’t be for a few months, but I’d appreciate it.”

I heaved a shrug, which reminded me of the man I had met in the park today, “I don’t mind.”

She smiled slightly rubbed the scarf I had given her so long ago between her thumb and index finger. I had always appreciated the fact that she wore it whenever she could. It always made me think of a saying my mom would tell me before she had passed away.

“People always say I love you, Eren” She would say as she stroked my hair, “They might not say it out loud, but they always say it in their own way.”

I didn’t really understand what she meant at the time, but looking back on it now, I guess I kind of get it. It’s the little things that people do for you that say the most.

A little while later while I was sitting at my desk and filing the wood for a new shoe form, Mikasa walked by and paused for a moment.

“What’s this? A haiku?” she asked as she plucked the piece of paper with the poem from this morning scribbled on it.

I shrugged, “I think it’s a Tanka, but I don’t know the other half.”

She silently read it over a few times before handing it back to me, “If your mom was still here I’d tell you to ask her, because she always seemed to know about these kinds of things.”

I placed the poem on my desk and sighed, “Yeah.”


	3. June, Eren, (Part 3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some more nature sounds: http://naturesoundsfor.me/The-Garden-Day-2

I stared out at the sunset through the train window. I had decided that on sunny days, rather than go to the park, I would just take the train like I normally do and go to school. I heaved a sigh and watched my breath fog up the window.

I hated going to school at this point, but not because it was school. I mean I liked seeing my friends and talking to them, but I just keep thinking that school isn’t where I should be right now. School was a place where I would get into fights over stupid shit and where teachers only seemed to vaguely care.

 

 I heard the vibration of my phone between my bed sheets and swatted at it. I sat up and looked out the window towards the familiar sight and sound of rain and felt an unintentional smile splay out across my face.

My only focus from the moment I left the house was to get to the park again. As I walked I felt the humidity dance around my cheeks and nose, greeting me with every breath and movement I made, clinging to my body like a baby clings to its mother.

I walked across the wooden bridge again, although the water didn’t soak into my shoes this time. I was glad that I had remembered to re-seal them. The rubber had been a good choice over the beeswax. The water drizzled down my clear umbrella, just as it had before and I felt this growing anticipation to see if the man would be there today. I hopped over a few puddles and felt myself loosen up a bit. I felt a bit lighter as I turned the corner and saw the shaved back of his head, although it wasn’t until I stepped onto the tiled surface that he looked from his fixed point somewhere in the park at me. He nodded and I took that as my cue to sit where I had before.

I plopped down on the bench and tugged out my journal just as I had previously and we sat together, enveloped by the sound of the rain, for what felt like a very long time. It wasn’t until I had been furiously puzzled about how the bottom heel of a foot would look like at a certain angle that I looked up at him. He didn’t look at me, and took a sip from his can of beer. I let my eyes trail down from his crossed legs to his feet, where he had one foot planted down firmly on the ground, and the other hung in midair, a dress shoe dangling off of it and revealing a sock-covered heel. I quickly used his heel for reference and resumed minding my own business.

After a moment I heard the all too familiar click of a beer can on wood and I looked up, expecting him to leave again.

He pointed a finger at my vest. His voice was flat “Is school out today or something?”

I shrugged, a gesture that seemed all too common at this point. “Is today a day off for you?”

“Touché.” He said dryly. He picked up the can again and looked away again, “I’m skipping work again, if you really want to know.” He took a thoughtful swig from the can and looked back out to the lake.

I smiled a bit, “So you just come to the park to drink beer in the morning? Drinking beer alone is bad for your health, you know.”

“You seem to know a lot for a high-schooler.” His gaze slid back to me.

“My dad’s the drinker.” I held up my hands in a mock surrender.

“I see.” The man said as he turned to the messenger bag near his hip. He began to rifle through it. “Luckily for me, I didn’t just bring beer, I also brought snacks.” He pulled out about five chocolate bars and fanned them out in his hand. One fell back into the bag with a clatter, indicating that there were way more candy bars than what he had taken out. “Want one?”

“Thanks, but no thanks.” I shook my head politely.

He dumped the bars back into the bag, “Suit yourself, more for me.”

We sat in a slightly awkward and rain-filled silence for a minute. He broke it first.

“You probably just thought that I was crazy. Didn’t you?”

I shook my head.

“It’s okay.” He took out a pack of cigarettes and stuck one between his thin lips, “We’re only human. We’ve all got our quirks and weird rituals and shit, I guess.”

He lit the end of the cigarette while I spoke, “Maybe.”

“Definitely.” He tucked the lighter away and took a long drag. He exhaled.

After a few minutes of silence, I put away my journal and stood, bag in hand. He turned to me and raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

“I’ve decided to skip school on mornings when it’s raining.” I explained.

He uncrossed and then re-crossed his legs before replying, “Well then maybe we’ll meet again… When it rains.” He gestured up to the sky with his cigarette.

“Definitely.”


	4. July, Eren (Part 1)

That had been on the first day of the rainy season in Kanto. From then on, every rainy morning we met. Initially, we would just sit together and enjoy the silence that was only broken up by the incredibly familiar and comforting sound of the rain. I would draw and he would read some small novella by an obscure author, annotating it carefully with a black pen and a highlighter. He even brought us both coffee a few times. Other days, we would talk about almost anything. I had come to find out that he was an incredibly honest person who gave very good advice. From what I could tell, he had seen a lot of shit.

I got a part-time job washing dishes. I worked hard in school. In my spare time I would check tuition rates for colleges that offered shoemaking courses. And at night, when it rained, I would think of him. The man whose name I didn’t know, but who seemed to be all knowing.

“Shoe-making?” He had asked me one damp and rainy morning, after I had told him what I was looking for in colleges. My stomach had clenched waiting for his response.

“Yeah.” We stood out underneath a vine-covered rest stop on one of the trails and stared out at the lake and how the gentle raindrops made ripples on its surface.

“It’s kind of out of touch, I know, but I like it. I’m still bad at it though, but I would like to make it my career, if I can.”

He shrugged without looking at me.

“I’ve never told anyone that before.” I stared out at the water, feeling as if I might throw up. I didn’t know why I felt safe enough to tell this man something like that, but he gave off an odd, yet positive air. I was good at picking up on those kinds of things when it came to people, but on the other hand I sucked really hard at noticing social cues.

He shrugged again and waved his menthol cigarette in the air in a small circle, “I think it’s kind of honorable to take that profession. It’s a whole lot better than becoming a doctor or a teacher just because your parents wanted you to be. We need more people who know old crafts in the world.”

He brought the cigarette to his lips and took a drag. He exhaled a smoke ring that was shattered into loosely coiled bits by the rain. I felt relief flood through me at his words of acceptance.

Pretty soon, all of our meetings were burned into the back of my head, while all of the train rides and days I spent in school ran together and became indistinct. Even though I was late almost everyday, I didn’t care. I was just glad to see him. My shoe-making skills slowly got better, and I even began to prepare a snack to share with him most mornings, even though Mikasa would occasionally pluck a tomato from my bento box with out warning.

Although, my friend, Armin, began to sort of reprimand me for being late almost everyday and Reiner just teased me. Teachers began to call me into the lounge to lecture me on being late, but I just didn’t care. I was happier than I had been in a long time.

School represented a childish and infinitely impatient place, but he represented everything that was free about being an adult, a world that seemed so very far away from mine. To me, he embodied the secrets of the world.

Although I was soon fairly sure of the fact that he thought I, a fifteen-year-old boy, was just a child; and that shoe making was and still is the only thing that will get me out of here.

And before I realized it, every night before I went to sleep, and the few moments before I woke up, I was praying for rain.


	5. July, Levi (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I totally am not posting this from school.

I leaned on the directory board while I waited for the train. The rain poured absently, filling up the silence between the noisy passengers who also stood, occupied by their phones and small children. As the train pulled into the station, I leaned forward a bit, hesitant to go. That boy would be at the park today. I leaned back against the directory again and watched as people filed onto the train, counting to ten in my head and watching as it pulled away when I hit number nine. I exhaled through my nose, turned and began to walk towards the park. I wondered if he even knew who I was, aside from the man who comes to the park on rainy days. I knew who he was. His name was Eren; he was a first year high school student. He wanted to be a shoemaker.

I paused as I set foot on the tiled floor underneath the awning. He looked up and a small smile crossed his lips. “I thought that you might not come today.”

I said nothing as I pulled my umbrella closed. I quietly walked behind him and looked over his shoulder at what he was drawing.

“Cool shoes.” I stated with an unintended dryness.

He slammed the sketchbook shut and blushed furiously. “Hey!”

I leaned on the back of the bench with both of my arms, careful to not let my ass stick out into the rain, “What I can’t see? Rude.”

“They aren’t worth showing.” He grumbled, his blush now turning a delicate pink. He waved at my usual spot. “Go sit over there, you ass.”

I gave a trademark shrug and hopped over the back of the bench carefully, being wary of my joints, and crossed my legs. I dropped my messenger bag next to me and pulled out a can of orange soda, rather than my usual beer. It cracked open with a gentle hiss that heavily contrasted with the rain. I took a sip and was silently delighted to taste oranges instead of sour fizzy water.

He waited until I finished my swig before he spoke. “I’m gonna eat breakfast now, want some?”

I looked up to find that he had a small bento box that was wrapped in baby blue cloth in his lap. He began to undo the knots.

“Actually,” I muttered as I searched my bag, “I have my own today.” I produced another similarly wrapped box and placed it neatly in my lap.

“You _cook_?” he said in a lightly mocking voice.

“Yes I cook, dickwad.” I growled as I unwrapped my bento box. “I’m trying to eat healthy. Is that a crime?”

He held up his lands in a joking surrender, “Only if you don’t let me try some.” He reached forward and snagged a fried egg before I would say anything and stuffed it in his mouth.

I carefully watched his expression as I heard the crunch of him biting into an eggshell “My cooking’s not really that good, yet. You should really ask before you take food like that.”

He chewed and swallowed the egg quickly, and began to laugh. “This is a side of you that I didn’t expect.”

He sniffed and his grin shrank a bit, but in a good way, “It’s tasty in it’s own way.”

I rolled my eyes and sighed, “Don’t patronize me, brat.”


	6. July, Levi (Part 3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Surprise update for all of you taking finals this week! Good luck! c:

I stared absently at the curve of Eren’s cheek while he napped. He had dozed off today and was using the post that not only served as a leg for the bench, but also a column to hold up the roof of the awning, as an uncomfortable pillow. His breathing was soft and constant as the raindrops. He fidgeted a bit in his sleep and I wondered if he was dreaming. I stared down into my can of soda and swirled it around a bit.

“Hey,” I whispered to no one in particular, “Do you think it’s too late for me?”

I didn’t know to whom I was talking to. Maybe god. Maybe Eren. Maybe just myself. Or perhaps, I was just talking to the rain.

After a dull trip home and a three hour nap, I found myself calling my soon to be old boss and ex-boyfriend. If ‘boyfriend’ was really even the correct word for him. I leaned back on the arm of the couch and stared up at the ceiling, phone in hand.

I went straight to the point: “I can taste food now.”

“So your disorder’s improved?” His voice held a curious and cheerful note in it.

“I wouldn’t say that.” I muttered into the receiver. I tucked the phone between my shoulder and my cheek as I tugged open a bag of sugar star candies in my lap. “I used to only be able to taste alcohol and chocolate, but now I can actually taste sugary and salty things.”

He paused for a moment, giving me the opportunity to tuck one into my inner cheek. I was silently delighted to find that they tasted like sugar. “I think your decision to quit was really for the best.”

“I guess.” I leaned forward and rubbed the arch of my left foot. Erwin had always spoken to me like someone would speak to a small animal, or how someone would speak in a museum. But when I had trouble breathing, or even leaving my apartment to go to work, he had never really believed me. He had only really believed in the disgusting people and rumors that had swirled around him and that had caused this whole mess in the first place.

“We’ll start filing paperwork after the holiday.”

I released the phone from between my shoulder and cheek and moved it to my other ear.

“Sorry about all this shit.” I grumbled. I hated the feeling of being belittled by this man. I took a small glance at the shoe-making book on the coffee table. I had found it at the bookstore and bought it without hesitation.

“Actually I’m glad,” he said and I felt my heart stop for a second, “About that old woman who brings her breakfast to the park. You both sound like you’ve struck a chord.”—I heard the noise of someone taking a drag off a cigarette--“You talk about her a lot.”

Another pause, “You should get some rest, Levi.”

“Yeah.” I hung up.

I grabbed a pack of cigarettes and my lighter and went out onto the balcony. I lit one and took a drag. I exhaled the smoke through my nose and watched as the breeze carried it away.

Ever since all of this shit started happening, I could feel every fiber of my body slowly turning into lies.

I fell asleep on the couch.

 

I awoke to the sound of my phone buzzing, and it took me a moment to recognize the familiar sound.

Rain.

 

I held out the book to Eren. “Here,”

His eyes grew wide as he realized what I was holding. “Wait, really?”

“I eat your food, so I figured this would be a fair trade.” I took a sip from the coffee cup I held in my other hand. It tasted like coffee with three cream packets and three sugars. I was silently excited, “I mean, unless you don’t want it.”

He reached out and shyly took it from me, “Thank you so much.”

A smile grew across his face as he slowly thumbed through the pages. He stopped about halfway through the book before his smiled faded. He turned to me, his face beginning to turn pink, “Actually, I’m making a pair of shoes right now!”

“Oh?” I said, raising an eyebrow, “A pair for your sister?”

He shook his head, “No. I don’t know who to give them to… But I was thinking of making men’s shoes, actually.”

I felt a chill run down my spine, yet he continued, “I figured that they would be a good place to start, but I don’t want to use my own and--”

“You can use my feet.” I offered.

“What?”

I sighed, “You can use my feet. I don’t care.”

Before he could object I slid off my right shoe and sock and gently rested my heel in the space next to him. I had always had weird, narrow feet with long toes. I used to be able to pick things up off the floor with them when I was little, but I hadn’t tried in a long time. I wondered briefly if I could do it now.

He touched my foot tentatively, and when I didn’t stop him, he began to gently take measurements and began to write them down in his sketchbook. We were both silent, excepting the sound of the rain, which marked our meetings. He gently slipped his sketchbook under my foot and I slipped off my other shoe and stood up on the bench as he outlined my foot.

“You know,” I murmured quietly, “Before I knew it, I had trouble walking like I used to.”

I didn’t look up at me, “Are you talking about your job?”

“Yeah,” I looked out to the lake, it was raining while the sun was out today. “About a lot of things.”


	7. August, Levi (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is really short, sorry!

A few weeks later, it was like someone had flipped switch, and the sunny days just kept coming. I would sometimes try to fool myself and think that at least he’s not skipping class any more... but that was a complete lie. The truth was that I missed our meetings. I still went to the park, but it was completely different on sunny days. There were people who sat in Eren’s place on our bench instead of Eren. And the days grew hotter and hotter.

I missed him.

 

I swatted at my phone as it buzzed. When I sat up in bed, I could only hear the sound of the birds chirping. I stumbled out into the living room in only a pair of shorts and a clean white t-shirt, phone in hand. I landed on the couch with a hard thud and gently placed my phone on the coffee table. I carefully undid the twist tie on a bag of star candy and tucked one into my cheek. It didn’t taste like anything. After what felt like an eternity, I picked up my phone from the coffee table, only to drop it. It hit the floor with a loud clatter that seemed to echo through my apartment. I picked it up, only to find that the screen had cracked. I felt a sharp pain run through my stomach and I tossed my phone to the side and covered my face. My eyes stung.

 

I sat on the bench that Eren and I had met on so many times.

“I wonder if the weather will be better tomorrow,” I tossed my shoe to the other end of the tiled floor. It was sunny today.

I haven’t really changed since I was his age. It was hard to believe, but even after twelve years, I hadn’t changed a bit. I stared up at the ceiling absently as I took a bite from a bar of chocolate. I’ve always just been stuck in once place; stagnant.

I’ve been a fool.


	8. August, Eren (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hope this makes up for the two short chapters omg

Jean came by and sat down next to me on the balcony. I took a few massive gulps from a water bottle as he spoke, “Thanks for helping, you want to come to dinner with us?”

I put the water bottle down and shook my head, “Nah, I have to go to work soon.”

“This late?” He asked, genuinely surprised.

I tugged off the bandana I had wrapped around my head, my words were teasing, “Yeah, but I also don’t want to impose or anything.”

He shrugged, “Okay, good thing though, because Mikasa made me come and ask you.”

“I can hear you two, you know.” She called from the bedroom.

As soon as closed the door to their apartment I heard them speaking about me.

“Did you see the moccasins that he’s wearing?” she asked Jean.

“Yeah, what about them?”

“They’re hand made.”

I sighed and quickly skittered away from the door. I was never a fan of when Mikasa told people about the fact that I made and designed shoes.

The rainless days continued, and for the most part I was left alone at home. I worked part time for almost everyday of summer vacation. I needed the money for vocational school, not to mention for tools and leather. When I was at home I practiced making shoes until I felt tired enough to fall asleep. I had no reason to go back to the park. I mean, I missed him, sure… but I think that holding onto these feelings for him are kind of childish.

But even so, I wanted to make him shoes that would make him want to get up and walk again.


	9. August, Eren (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I GOT WIFI WHILE I WAS CAMPING TAKE THIS CHAPTER AND RUN BEFORE I FUCKING LOSE IT AGAIN

Eventually, it was time for school again. I stalked the student-filled halls before first period, looking for anyone to talk to who wouldn’t irritate me. More namely, I was looking for Armin.

I found him walking down a stairwell, talking to another friend of mine named Reiner.

“Armin!” I waved at him.

He turned around and walked back up the stairs to say hello to me, Reiner following behind him. They were friendly as ever.

I grinned, “Long time no see. You’re pale as ever.”

He punched me in the arm, “So are you! What the heck did you do over summer break? I hardly heard from you.”

“I worked, mostly.” I shrugged. I felt a small pain in my stomach as I thought of the man in the park. We began to walk down the stairs together.

“That’s a lonely way to spend high school.” Reiner chimed in. “School work, house work,”—we turned on a landing to go to the second floor—“Work-work. It never ends.”

I elbowed him as we walked down the hall and he laughed. “You sound just like Mikasa.” I groaned. “Besides, I skip school sometimes!”

“Yeah, you are late a lot.” Reiner said with a click of his tongue.

Armin smirked “Yeah, he never shows up of first period on rainy days.”

I felt my stomach clench, and suppressed it with smile, “I have a condition where I can’t ride the subway on rainy mornings.”

“Oh really?” Reiner rolled his eyes.

Ahead of us, the door to the teacher’s lounge slid open and Vice Principal Smith and a small man wearing black slacks and a neatly tied tie filed out. The man’s eyebrows and lips were thin and the back of his head was shaved, it was only until after we had passed each other that Reiner, Armin, and I all froze. I whipped around and looked the man up and down as Armin skittered towards him.

“Mr. Levi!” He called. A group of other student surrounded the man that I had known for months... Levi.

“I told you guys not to call me ‘Mr.’” He crossed his arms, listening to all of their pleas to not leave, “I’ll be here until fifth period, don’t worry.” He glanced at me, his gaze empty.

“He came back to school?” Reiner’s voice sounded from behind me. It was barely above a whisper.

Reiner had pulled me to the roof, along with Armin, during lunch to explain. We began tossing a tennis ball back and forth while Armin sat and ate quietly. “You didn’t hear about him quitting?”

“No, not at all.” I said as I caught his toss.

I tossed it back to him and he caught it with one hand, “So I guess that means you have Hanji for literature.” He tossed it back.

“He always had trouble with the third years.” Reiner murmured as I caught the ball.

Armin swallowed a spoonful of rice, “Yeah, but he didn’t do anything wrong.”—he paused for a moment—“After someone’s girlfriend fell for him, someone found his personal records and found out that he had had a name change… and that he had had a gender designation change.”

I tossed the ball back to Reiner, “So what does that mean?”

 Reiner caught it with ease, “That Levi used to be a girl. And as payback, some third year boys actually beat him up.”

I froze.

Armin sighed, “The girls even spread rumors about him being a ‘tranny she-male whore’.”—He grimaced bitterly at the words—“They got so bad that even the parents started hearing about them. He couldn’t even come to school anymore after a while.”

Reiner threw the ball. He shook his head sadly; “I can’t believe people would do that to someone just because of who they were and who they are. He should have taken it to the police.”

Armin leaned forward over his now empty lunchbox, his voice full of anger, “We told Mr. Smith over and over again, but he didn’t want to ruin the school’s reputation!”

I caught the ball and looked away.

“What’s wrong, Eren?” Reiner asked.

I turned towards him slowly, feeling my core vibrate with anger, “Do you know the names of those upperclassmen?”


	10. August, Eren (Part 3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *grimaces* slurs are fucking gross please dont use them

My anger had only built up over the day, and as the ending bell for fifth period rang, I looked outside to see Levi heading towards the parking lot. A group of students ran after him (among them I could spot Reiner and Armin), all of them apologizing and saying that they would miss him. I felt the tips of my fingers begin to tingle and my stomach clench with pure fury. I clenched my fists. Some of the girls near him started crying.

I stood up and marched to the third floor.

I counted off the doors until I came to the classroom that Reiner had told me about. I slid open the door and the group of five third years sitting on the desks towards the far corner of the room fell silent.

“What do you want first year?” asked one of the boys as I meandered between desks and pushed in chairs to close the gap between us.

I turned to a girl who was sitting at a desk, “Are you Hitch?” I practically spat out her name.

She rolled her eyes, “What’s it to you?”

“Levi’s quitting.” It was the first time I had ever spoken his name. I felt a tug in my gut and I balled my hands into fists again, feeling my nails dig into my palm.

She turned away, “Like I give a shit what’s going to happen to that tranny garbage.”

Before I realized what I was doing, I slapped her across the face. My hand tingled from the impact. Another guy reached out and grabbed my other arm.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?”

I tore away my arm, just in time to receive a punch to the right cheek, knocking me to my feet. “What’s your deal?”

I stood back up, ignoring the tang of iron in my mouth and charged head first into him, only to be shoved to the floor. The rest was a blur. After a fury of punches and kicks, I was thrown out into the hallway.

“Who are you?” The student who had punched me in the cheek came out into the hallway and crossed his arms.

I heard the voices of the other third years murmuring behind him “Wow, I bet he fell for her!”

“How disgusting.”

“Do you even know who she is? Or how old she is?”

“She probably tricked him!”

“She’ll probably fuck him now, since she’s not a teacher anymore.”

I used the lockers for leverage as I pushed myself up. My whole body felt sore, but my roiling anger fueled me.

“You should thank us!”

“He.” I growled from between clenched teeth.

“What?” said one of the girls.

“HE!” I charged towards the group of them.


	11. August, Eren (Part 4)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren's a nerd.

I stared up absently at the cloudy sky as I thought about Levi. The people around me pushed past me as I came to a stop in the middle of the walkway in the subway station. It wasn’t raining, but the radio had said otherwise for later in the day. I exited the station and began walking towards the park.

By the time I had entered the gates, the wind had swept away a lot of the clouds, making the landscape sunny and warm. It was so different on sunny days. The birds sang loudly, but the park was seemingly empty. The path was dry and quiet, void of all human life except my own. I sighed. I liked it when it rained more.

I came to a stop as I approached the gazebo that we had sat underneath so many times. It was empty. I felt my heart squeeze as I turned away and began to walk to the vine-covered awning that I had told him about shoemaking under.

He stood there, wearing slacks, a white button up, a tie, and his plain shoes. He must have heard the scrape of my feet down the gravel pathway because he turned around and watched me carefully, his eyes widening slightly as he noticed the Band-Aids pinned all over my face. I stopped a few feet away from him and looked out onto the water.

I could feel my pulse racing through my palms. I took a deep breath,

“’A faint clap of thunder,

even if the rain comes not

I will stay here

together with you.’”

His expression softened, “That’s right… That’s the other half of the Tanka I told you when we first met.”

“’If it rains, I wonder if you will be staying here?’” I said quietly, still not meeting his gaze, “I reply with the verse, ‘Even if it doesn’t rain I will be here.’”

I paused and smiled a bit to myself, “I found it in the classic literature textbook.” I looked up at him. “Levi…”

“I’m sorry. I thought you would have recognized me as one of your teachers. I mean… everyone at school fucking knows about me.” He let out a long, whistling sigh through his nose, “But you’re off in your own little world… aren’t you?”

He gestured towards my face, “So what did you do to yourself?”

“I was acting like you and got drunk,” I shrugged lightly. “I tripped going up the stairs.”

He raised an eyebrow, “Uh-huh.”

I smiled, “I got in a fight.”

A bolt of lightning arched across a nearby cloud, creating a loud thunderclap.  My heartbeat sped up again as we both turned to look at the cloud. It began to rain heavily almost instantly. Neither of us had brought umbrellas, so we just ran back to the awning together, the rain soaking us to the bone before we were even halfway there. We stood in the gazebo together, the water running off of us like a sink left on full blast.

“We look like drowned rats.” Levi blurted out.

I began to laugh, the partial rush of adrenaline wearing off. I felt a bit bad because his white shirt had soaked completely through to reveal the undershirt he was wearing. I looked down sadly at his shoes, which were now soaked through. I’d have to fix them at some point. He had begun to roll up his sleeves when a vicious wind tore across the park and forced the rain to fall horizontally. We both made a noise of surprise.

After a moment we both wordlessly took our respective places on the bench, but said nothing. Levi leaned back on it and crossed his arms, despite the fact that I could tell he was shivering. He looked silently out onto the water that bristled in the rain shower.

Once the rain had slowed a bit, he stood suddenly and offered me his hand. I took it wordlessly and we both ran to the subway station, and back to his apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I've been thinking a lot about Levi being trans, and while, yes, his outing was a little abrupt, that's really just how life is sometimes. I could have integrated it better, sure, but Levi's pretty much fully transitioned, so there's no way that you would be able to tell him apart from a cis man unless you got him to take off his pants. Please respect my decision, not only as an author, but also as a transman who would like to see more representation in media and who felt that trans Levi would be pretty cool anyways. Thank you.


	12. August, Levi (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who are wondering, Levi is actually thinking of two different songs.  
> Song 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ArOjEEWs5k  
> Song 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-4wUfZD6oc  
> Feel free to listen to either while reading.

As soon as Eren had set foot into my apartment, I ordered him to strip down to his underwear, and proceeded to throw a wad of clothes that were too big for me at his face. He was horribly embarrassed to say the least, but he suddenly understood as I unfolded an ironing board and began to iron his clothes, ignoring the fact that the steam was making my hair look even curlier than normal. I then took them and hung them up to dry them out a bit more. When I returned Eren had offered to make lunch for the both of us. I shrugged and gave him the okay.

He stood with his back to me while we talked. He would occasionally ask where things were in the kitchen and I would point them out and give a precise description as to their location and he would laugh and still have trouble finding them anyways. Every once in a while I would actually have to get up and help him find something, but other than that I left him to his own devices. He was a better cook than I was anyways. At some point I pushed open the sliding doors to the balcony and lit a menthol cigarette. He said something and that made me laugh, a white cloud of smoke escaping from my mouth.

All of this reminded me of a song that I had heard when I was a teenager. It was one that I had learned to play on the piano, but I couldn’t remember the name. Nevertheless, it still brought a smile to my face. It had been a while since I had felt this happy. I hoped Eren felt the same.

We sat down at the coffee table to eat lunch (which was fried rice with chicken). Eren was a wonderful cook and I could actually taste what I was eating and it was delicious. He had shyly asked me a question about my past and I reassured him that he wasn’t being nosy at all. I told him about what it was like figuring out who I really was when I was his age, the hardships I had been through, the other friends of mine that I had lost from beatings and STDs and suicides. It felt good to tell him. It felt good to tell someone about everything, and even though he admitted that he had never known anyone like me, he still tried his best to understand the terminology I used and would occasionally stop me during my stories to ask questions like:

“Wait so what’s HRT?”

“What are binders?”

“How did you get your gender card?”

It touched my heart that he actually cared this much about understanding who I was and what I had been through.

After we finished cleaning up lunch, I made some tea for the both of us, I had mint and he had black.

Eren had taken his mug and sat down next to the door that opened out to the small balcony, it was still raining, but he didn’t seem to mind. He looked down into his mug and smiled before he spoke, “Levi?”

“Yeah?”

He paused for a moment, “I think I’ve fallen in love with you.”

I froze for a moment, feeling the cold from the countertop soak into my hand for the first time today. My heart thundered in my ears. I gently turned towards him and leaned back on the countertop. I felt cold. “I’m just a teacher from school, though. Remember?”

He looked up at me for a moment, and then his gaze returned back to his mug.

I felt my heart squeeze as I sat down on the floor cross-legged, cup in hand. I didn’t like being higher than he was because it seemed disrespectful and too authoritative to break news to someone like that. “I’m going to be moving back to my hometown next week. I made the decision a few months ago.”

He looked up from his cup at me.

I couldn’t meet his gaze, “I was learning to walk on my own in that park. Barefoot or otherwise.”—I took a sip of my tea, ignoring the flavor—“I want to thank you for everything, Eren.”

He stood up abruptly, mug in hand. “Thank you for lending me these clothes. I- I think I’m going to go home now.”

He pushed past me before I could respond. My heart was pounding. I fucked up. I fucked up. He returned a few minutes later in his school clothes and bowed. “Thank you for your hospitality.”

Everything happened so fast, I heard him walk away and the door close with a click and then I was alone. I felt like he had ripped himself away from the very fiber of my being. Everything he had ever said to me began to pour into my brain all at once, along with the sound of the rain and the sound of a piano playing. I leaned forward and covered my face and felt my eyes sting.

Then all at once, it stopped.

I stood up and ran. I ran out the door, ignoring my shoes. I had to find him. I pushed out into the hallway and out into the outdoor stairwell. I needed him in my life. I was happiest when he was with me. I accidentally tripped over my own foot and fell to a landing, sliding into a puddle, only to stand up and keep running until I got to the landing above the one he was standing at. He turned around at looked up at me as I descended the stairs, panting heavily.

“Levi…” He balled his hands into fists, “Forget what I said earlier… I’ve decided that I… hate you!”

I flinched, yet he continued, his voice becoming louder. “Ever since I met you at the park you struck me as a person I should avoid! Drinking beer and eating chocolate in the morning… Spouting off a stupid Tanka at me…”—He grit his teeth—“You listen to people talk all day but you almost never say anything about yourself! You always fail to say what’s important until it’s too late to say it!”

I was silent. “You knew I was a student, didn’t you?! That’s just unfair!

“If I had known who you were from the beginning I would have never told you about the shoes! You probably think that I’ll never amount to anything anyways! Why didn’t you say anything?! Did you think that you would just humor some kid’s fantasies for a little while?!” His eyes were watering, ”Tell me that I’ll never amount to anything! Tell me that I won’t live up to anyone’s expectations! Tell me that I won’t be able to chase my dreams!”

I shook my head, “You knew from the very beginning, so why won’t you just tell me, god damn it?!

“Tell me that I’m just in your way! Tell me to just go back to school!” I shook my head even harder.

“Tell me that you hate me!”

He was crying.

“Stop acting like that! You act like nothing really matters and pretend like it’s none of your business! You’ve been living your whole life alone and you won’t fucking acknowledge it!”

Finally I closed the distance between us, feeling the rain hide my tears as I wrapped my arms around him. “Everyday… I would put on my clothes to go to school…”

I took a shaky breath, “But I was too afraid of what would happen. I just couldn’t force myself to go!

“You… you saved me.” My voice dropped to a loud whisper.

I felt him return the embrace just as the sun began to peer through the clouds.


	13. December: Epilogue

Eventually winter came, and it was time to start wearing winter uniforms. I did awful on my finals. I worked part time through winter break, too and wasted god knows how much leather. But every time that I added a new layer to my clothes I wondered, “How is he doing?”

It wasn’t until a snowy morning in December that I had wandered back to the park to read a letter he had written me. I kept all of his letters. They warmed my heart in this cold weather.

It mostly babbled about how long the letter had gotten without him realizing it, but I was still happy to have it nonetheless. I smiled down at the note and put it back into my bag. I exchanged it for a neatly made pair of black dress shoes with heels that were high for men’s shoes. They had taken me weeks to make, but I was happy with them. I didn’t really realize until just now, but I’ve been practicing walking on my own, too. And when I am able to walk far enough, I’ll go see him, someday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about how short this is haha  
> but uh wow its all over now  
> anyways, thank you all so much for reading and commenting and subscribing and for being really awesome
> 
> and now im gonna be a bit of a douche and plug my newest fic that im working on, which is a demon hunter au called "Hellfire"
> 
> anyways that's all folks and thank you all so much for your support, it means so much to me. <3


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